HOUSE_OVERSIGHT_018676.jpg
1.95 MB
Extraction Summary
2
People
0
Organizations
0
Locations
3
Events
1
Relationships
6
Quotes
Document Information
Type:
Narrative/memoir/manuscript page (part of house oversight document production)
File Size:
1.95 MB
Summary
This document appears to be a page from a personal narrative, memoir, or story draft, bearing a House Oversight Committee Bates stamp (HOUSE_OVERSIGHT_018676). The text describes the emotional and physical dynamics of an S&M relationship between the narrator and a man named 'Mica,' focusing on themes of fear, vulnerability, consent, and attentiveness. While part of a larger production likely related to investigations involving Epstein or Maxwell, the specific content of this page is purely narrative and does not mention Epstein or financial crimes.
People (2)
| Name | Role | Context |
|---|---|---|
| Mica | Partner/Subject |
The male partner in the narrative, described as wanting to give, attentive, and involved in S&M dynamics with the nar...
|
| Narrator (I) | Author/Narrator |
First-person narrator expressing fear, vulnerability, and describing a relationship involving S&M dynamics.
|
Timeline (3 events)
Relationships (1)
Engaging in S&M, sleeping together, emotional discussions about vulnerability and care.
Key Quotes (6)
"I tried not to be afraid. Not only because I like him so much, and it's easy to be afraid."Source
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Quote #1
"S&M is a complex and fickle mistress."Source
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Quote #2
"I was scared, scared, scared that Mica believed me to be more amazing than I could ever possibly be."Source
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Quote #3
""Don't be sorry. Last night was amazing. You knew exactly where I needed to go.""Source
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Quote #4
""Do you want pain?""Source
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Quote #5
""I just want to take care of you," he said."Source
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Quote #6
Full Extracted Text
Complete text extracted from the document (2,686 characters)
I tried not to be afraid. Not only because I like him so much, and it's easy to be afraid.
But because someone like Mica, who wants so much to give, can be seriously damaged
by a partner who isn't careful to offer him space to be exactly who he is.
But because someone like Mica, who wants so much to give, can be seriously damaged
by a partner who isn't careful to offer him space to be exactly who he is.
And, most of all, because S&M is a complex and fickle mistress. Because I knew that if
Mica expected me to be able to do that regularly, he was bound to be disappointed. His
tendencies are there, and I can learn them, but this one "total catharsis" depended on a
confluence of factors: there had been something close to his surface, something he'd
practically begged me to pull out, and it had been his first time.
Mica expected me to be able to do that regularly, he was bound to be disappointed. His
tendencies are there, and I can learn them, but this one "total catharsis" depended on a
confluence of factors: there had been something close to his surface, something he'd
practically begged me to pull out, and it had been his first time.
Plus, S&M also depends on self-maintenance and reasonable expectations and respecting
our own failures. An S&M relationship will be much less stable if the people involved
can't accept imperfection.
our own failures. An S&M relationship will be much less stable if the people involved
can't accept imperfection.
I was scared, scared, scared that Mica believed me to be more amazing than I could ever
possibly be.
possibly be.
* * *
The next day, Mica was thrilled by his scratches, and showed them off to me. I was
pleased by how he eroticized the marks -- I do that, too -- but I also felt a moment of
piercing guilt. "I'm sorry," I said. "I should have been more careful, before leaving marks
like that. I should have asked."
pleased by how he eroticized the marks -- I do that, too -- but I also felt a moment of
piercing guilt. "I'm sorry," I said. "I should have been more careful, before leaving marks
like that. I should have asked."
Mica met my eyes directly, insistently. "No," he said. "Don't be sorry. Last night was
amazing. You knew exactly where I needed to go."
amazing. You knew exactly where I needed to go."
I pushed back my fear -- he expects too much of me -- and answered quietly. I ended by
telling him, "S&M can't be that, all the time." He nodded. I hoped he was listening.
telling him, "S&M can't be that, all the time." He nodded. I hoped he was listening.
Fortunately, he was. The next time we did it, Mica was slightly disappointed that it wasn't
mind-blowing -- as I knew he would be. But he dealt with it. He articulated the
disappointment to me, and he remembered that I'd warned him, and he said that he was
prepared to take things as they came. And then, lying on his side next to me, watching
me, he asked: "Do you want pain?"
mind-blowing -- as I knew he would be. But he dealt with it. He articulated the
disappointment to me, and he remembered that I'd warned him, and he said that he was
prepared to take things as they came. And then, lying on his side next to me, watching
me, he asked: "Do you want pain?"
I felt my eyes widen. I felt a spike of fear. I was already so into him. I knew that if I
allowed him to get me to subspace, there'd be no going back.
allowed him to get me to subspace, there'd be no going back.
"Yes," I said.
And again, that attention. In a way, sometimes, Mica's attentiveness can be strangely
inconvenient. He's almost over-attuned to my desires. Even when I tell him to close his
eyes, he can't lose himself that way; he can't make himself keep them closed. The quality
of his attention is, however, quite remarkable when he hurts me.
inconvenient. He's almost over-attuned to my desires. Even when I tell him to close his
eyes, he can't lose himself that way; he can't make himself keep them closed. The quality
of his attention is, however, quite remarkable when he hurts me.
"This is where you could take me apart," I said afterwards, as I surfaced out of that
terrible vulnerability.
terrible vulnerability.
Mica looked at me, rested his head on me. "I just want to take care of you," he said.
* * *
HOUSE_OVERSIGHT_018676
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