HOUSE_OVERSIGHT_018503.jpg
1.97 MB
Extraction Summary
4
People
1
Organizations
0
Locations
1
Events
2
Relationships
4
Quotes
Document Information
Type:
Personal narrative / witness statement
File Size:
1.97 MB
Summary
This document is a personal narrative from an unnamed woman, identified by the footer 'HOUSE_OVERSIGHT_018503' as likely being part of a congressional record. The author recounts a past relationship characterized by emotional abuse and gaslighting, and reflects on how societal pressure for men to 'perform' sexually has silenced her from expressing her own needs. The text is an introspective account of abuse dynamics and their societal context, though it does not name any specific individuals or dates.
People (4)
| Name | Role | Context |
|---|---|---|
| Unnamed Narrator | Author/Narrator |
The author of the text, a woman, who describes a past relationship involving emotional abuse (gaslighting) and reflec...
|
| Unnamed Boyfriend | Narrator's former partner |
A man the narrator dated who she describes as emotionally abusive, denying things he said to make her feel 'insane'.
|
| Unnamed Best Friend | Narrator's friend |
A friend the narrator confided in about her boyfriend's behavior.
|
| Unnamed Past Partners | Narrator's former partners |
Mentioned in the 'Men's Perspective' section as partners who 'couldn't perform', for whom the narrator expresses a de...
|
Organizations (1)
| Name | Type | Context |
|---|---|---|
| House Oversight |
Mentioned in the document footer ('HOUSE_OVERSIGHT_018503'), indicating the document is likely part of an investigati...
|
Timeline (1 events)
Undated
The narrator had a fight with her boyfriend where he denied saying something hurtful, which she describes as gaslighting and a classic pattern of emotional abuse. She continued dating him for a long time after this incident.
Unspecified
Relationships (2)
The narrator describes dating 'that man for a long time' and loving him, while also detailing his emotionally abusive behavior.
The narrator's best friend called 'to check in', and the narrator confided in her about the issues with her boyfriend.
Key Quotes (4)
""I never said that," he said softly."Source
HOUSE_OVERSIGHT_018503.jpg
Quote #1
"Maybe he insisted that I was hallucinating in order to confuse me out of protesting: abusers do these things because they work."Source
HOUSE_OVERSIGHT_018503.jpg
Quote #2
""Well, he says that he didn't say what I thought he did.""Source
HOUSE_OVERSIGHT_018503.jpg
Quote #3
"I don't want anyone to know exactly which partners "couldn't perform.""Source
HOUSE_OVERSIGHT_018503.jpg
Quote #4
Full Extracted Text
Complete text extracted from the document (2,689 characters)
"I never said that," he said softly.
I closed my eyes. He would do this sometimes, insist that he hadn't said words I was sure
I'd heard, and it always made me feel like I had gone insane. I knew he'd said it. I'd even
responded with, "You can't mean that," and then he'd repeated it. But I felt so tired. It
had been hard enough to start the conversation. Hard enough to walk around the streets
crying for hours.
Maybe I really did misunderstand him somehow; I've been over those moments in my
head a million times, and I don't know anymore. Maybe I misunderstood. Or maybe he
was falling into a classic pattern of emotional abusers. Maybe he insisted that I was
hallucinating in order to confuse me out of protesting: abusers do these things because
they work.
What I do know for sure is that when he halted the conversation with a flat denial, I
couldn't bring myself to even try to talk about it again. Couldn't bring myself to resume
the conversation. But I also couldn't bring myself to break up with someone I loved so
much. We talked about other things instead.
And, of course, nothing about our sex life changed at all.
When my best friend called me the next day to check in, I said, "Well, he says that he
didn't say what I thought he did."
Her silence echoed with disbelief.
"Maybe I just... didn't understand what he actually meant," I said, but my words sounded
weak even to my own ears.
"Maybe," she said doubtfully, but she didn't press the issue.
Even after that fight, I continued dating that man for a long time. I look back now and I
can't imagine how I did it.
I closed my eyes. He would do this sometimes, insist that he hadn't said words I was sure
I'd heard, and it always made me feel like I had gone insane. I knew he'd said it. I'd even
responded with, "You can't mean that," and then he'd repeated it. But I felt so tired. It
had been hard enough to start the conversation. Hard enough to walk around the streets
crying for hours.
Maybe I really did misunderstand him somehow; I've been over those moments in my
head a million times, and I don't know anymore. Maybe I misunderstood. Or maybe he
was falling into a classic pattern of emotional abusers. Maybe he insisted that I was
hallucinating in order to confuse me out of protesting: abusers do these things because
they work.
What I do know for sure is that when he halted the conversation with a flat denial, I
couldn't bring myself to even try to talk about it again. Couldn't bring myself to resume
the conversation. But I also couldn't bring myself to break up with someone I loved so
much. We talked about other things instead.
And, of course, nothing about our sex life changed at all.
When my best friend called me the next day to check in, I said, "Well, he says that he
didn't say what I thought he did."
Her silence echoed with disbelief.
"Maybe I just... didn't understand what he actually meant," I said, but my words sounded
weak even to my own ears.
"Maybe," she said doubtfully, but she didn't press the issue.
Even after that fight, I continued dating that man for a long time. I look back now and I
can't imagine how I did it.
***
V. Men's Perspective
The gendered societal pressures that affect men are worth discussing, and worth
analyzing, and I often do just that. There is undeniable pressure on men to "perform"
sexually, for example. I try to have sympathy for men who feel this pressure -- but it is
difficult sometimes, because its major effect on my life has been to silence me. To make
me feel as though I couldn't ask for anything sexually. As though I couldn't express my
needs without hurting my boyfriend's feelings or making him angry.
And even now, when I talk about this stuff, I am as vague as I possibly can be about the
exact timeline. The last thing I want is for people who know me to read this and know
exactly when I started having orgasms. I don't want anyone to know exactly which
partners "couldn't perform." Because I know those men might feel it as a social
punishment, and as much as I hate the dynamics at work, I can't hate the men who were
part of them. They had their own social anxieties and their own blind spots and if I didn't
understand what was wrong, how could they?
analyzing, and I often do just that. There is undeniable pressure on men to "perform"
sexually, for example. I try to have sympathy for men who feel this pressure -- but it is
difficult sometimes, because its major effect on my life has been to silence me. To make
me feel as though I couldn't ask for anything sexually. As though I couldn't express my
needs without hurting my boyfriend's feelings or making him angry.
And even now, when I talk about this stuff, I am as vague as I possibly can be about the
exact timeline. The last thing I want is for people who know me to read this and know
exactly when I started having orgasms. I don't want anyone to know exactly which
partners "couldn't perform." Because I know those men might feel it as a social
punishment, and as much as I hate the dynamics at work, I can't hate the men who were
part of them. They had their own social anxieties and their own blind spots and if I didn't
understand what was wrong, how could they?
HOUSE_OVERSIGHT_018503
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