HOUSE_OVERSIGHT_018495.jpg
2.19 MB
Extraction Summary
3
People
1
Organizations
0
Locations
1
Events
2
Relationships
4
Quotes
Document Information
Type:
Personal writing/journal entry, part of a document production for a congressional investigation, identified by the bates number in the footer.
File Size:
2.19 MB
Summary
This document is a first-person narrative detailing the emotional dynamics of a BDSM scene, specifically focusing on the concept of 'subspace' and aftercare. The author describes their experience as a 'dominant' partner caring for a 'submissive' partner who is in an altered state of consciousness. While the text itself does not contain any names, dates, or direct information related to Jeffrey Epstein, the footer 'HOUSE_OVERSIGHT_018495' indicates it is a document produced as evidence for a U.S. House of Representatives Oversight Committee investigation.
People (3)
| Name | Role | Context |
|---|---|---|
| Narrator / "I" | Dominant partner |
The author of the text, describing a BDSM experience from the dominant perspective.
|
| The submissive | Submissive partner |
The narrator's male partner in the described BDSM scene, who enters a state of 'subspace'.
|
| A dominant friend | Acquaintance |
An unnamed friend of the narrator, also a 'dominant', whose post-scene habits are mentioned.
|
Organizations (1)
| Name | Type | Context |
|---|---|---|
| House Oversight |
Referenced in the footer 'HOUSE_OVERSIGHT_018495', indicating the document was likely produced for the U.S. House Com...
|
Timeline (1 events)
Not specified
A BDSM scene and its aftermath, focusing on the submissive partner's experience of 'subspace' and the dominant narrator's reaction and responsibility in providing aftercare.
Not specified
Narrator
The submissive
Relationships (2)
The entire text describes their interaction within a BDSM context, explicitly using the terms 'dominant' and 'submissive'.
Narrator
→
Friends/Acquaintances
→
A dominant friend
The text mentions 'A dominant friend once told me...'
Key Quotes (4)
""No," he cried, and grabbed me. Holy shit, I thought, so that's what surfacing from subspace can look like from the outside."Source
HOUSE_OVERSIGHT_018495.jpg
Quote #1
"...no no no you can't, you can't leave me alone when I'm like this, please I need your arms around me, I need you --"Source
HOUSE_OVERSIGHT_018495.jpg
Quote #2
"Some people have told me they can't even actually safeword when they're in deep subspace; I can't quite relate to this, but I imagine it could happen sometime."Source
HOUSE_OVERSIGHT_018495.jpg
Quote #3
"Because safety in subspace is a question of emotional safety, more than anything."Source
HOUSE_OVERSIGHT_018495.jpg
Quote #4
Full Extracted Text
Complete text extracted from the document (2,978 characters)
see I'm not here? Can't you see I'm under? Don't drag me back -- Intellectually, I understood that my frustration was unreasonable, and I did my best to train myself to deal with the check-ins. To surface quickly, slip back under afterwards. But I had to experience subspace from the dominant side before I understood how hard it was to deal with.
I remember sitting with my arms around the submissive and occasionally asking him how he was; in response, he would murmur and snuggle up to me. Ten minutes. Twenty minutes. I was processing my own dominant experience, and I had questions; I'd occasionally ask one. He'd murmur something softly. After a while I really wanted a glass of water and I thought he'd basically fallen asleep, so I said, "Hey, I'm going to go get a glass of water, okay?" and tried to move away.
"No," he cried, and grabbed me. Holy shit, I thought, so that's what surfacing from subspace can look like from the outside. Suddenly I understood exactly where his head was at: barely any time had passed for him at all, and he was still drifting up through velvety layers of consciousness. When I tried to leave, he'd felt sudden panic, a shot of pure abandonment, no no no you can't, you can't leave me alone when I'm like this, please I need your arms around me, I need you --
I knew exactly what to tell him. "Shh," I said, "I'm here."
A dominant friend once told me that he always informs his partners ahead of time that he has to move after a good scene, he has to go for a run, and he won't stick around to guide them out of subspace. I've always wondered how his partners deal with it. Maybe it's easier if you know it's coming.
There are questions of consent, of negotiating new activities while a partner's in subspace. Some people have told me they can't even actually safeword when they're in deep subspace; I can't quite relate to this, but I imagine it could happen sometime. I myself have occasionally had trouble safewording in the past, but it wasn't ever just because of subspace, it was because of pride or difficult emotions with the dominant partner. Subspace did complicate things, but I don't think it was the reason I had trouble (though it can be hard to disentangle these things). But maybe someday I'll go under so far that it will be.
I'm not saying it's never okay to push further than you discussed, once they're under -- it's just important to be careful, and not to do it unless you're pretty sure you can read your partner... or that they have the emotional wherewithal to deal with it if you push too hard.
Because safety in subspace is a question of emotional safety, more than anything. The vulnerability and intimacy in those moments can be terrifying. The tiniest change in his tone can mean the difference between mindless fear and absolute trust. It's so scary, and so intoxicating, and so weirdly unexplainably glorious.
Come back.
The best part might actually be coming back.
* * *
HOUSE_OVERSIGHT_018495
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