HOUSE_OVERSIGHT_015173.jpg
902 KB
Extraction Summary
5
People
3
Organizations
0
Locations
0
Events
2
Relationships
2
Quotes
Document Information
Type:
Script / satire / email attachment
File Size:
902 KB
Summary
This document appears to be a satirical script or joke dialogue, likely circulated as an email attachment or draft. It features a fictional interview between a 'Nanny' and a 'Reporter' regarding a pregnancy scandal with the 'First Dude' (presumably Todd Palin) and mocks 'Sarah' (presumably Sarah Palin) regarding birth control views. The document bears a House Oversight Committee Bates stamp.
People (5)
| Name | Role | Context |
|---|---|---|
| NANNY | Character |
Speaker in the script/dialogue claiming an affair.
|
| REPORTER | Character |
Speaker in the script/dialogue interviewing the Nanny.
|
| First Dude | Subject of dialogue |
Referenced as the person the Nanny had an affair with (likely a reference to Todd Palin).
|
| Sarah | Subject of dialogue |
Referenced as the wife of the 'First Dude' (likely a reference to Sarah Palin).
|
| Britney Spears | Musician |
Referenced in the stage directions as singing the theme song.
|
Organizations (3)
| Name | Type | Context |
|---|---|---|
| Enquirer |
Referenced tabloid magazine.
|
|
| CSI |
Referenced TV show regarding evidence collection.
|
|
| House Oversight Committee |
Source of the document (based on Bates stamp).
|
Relationships (2)
Script refers to 'his wife' named Sarah.
Script dialogue: 'I’ ve been having an affair with, you know, the First Dude'
Full Extracted Text
Complete text extracted from the document (850 characters)
NANNY: Yes, hello, I have a story that you might be interested in.
I’ ve been having an affair with, you know, the First Dude, and now it
seems that I’ m pregnant. What would the Enquirer pay for my story?
REPORTER: Do you have any proof that he’ s the father?
NANNY: Actually, yes, I do have evidence--DNA, physical evidence,
like in CSI--I saved what was left of his semen in the condoms.
REPORTER: But then how could you be pregnant?
NANNY: He told me that his wife makes tiny pinholes in the
reservoir tips of his condoms [in Sarah’ s voice] “in order to give all those
teeny little spermies a fighting chance.”
REPORTER: Why doesn’ t he just get a vasectomy?
NANNY: Sarah says that would be like cheating God . . .
[As the closing credits roll by, Britney Spears sings the program’ s
theme song, “Oops, I Did It Again.” ]
I’ ve been having an affair with, you know, the First Dude, and now it
seems that I’ m pregnant. What would the Enquirer pay for my story?
REPORTER: Do you have any proof that he’ s the father?
NANNY: Actually, yes, I do have evidence--DNA, physical evidence,
like in CSI--I saved what was left of his semen in the condoms.
REPORTER: But then how could you be pregnant?
NANNY: He told me that his wife makes tiny pinholes in the
reservoir tips of his condoms [in Sarah’ s voice] “in order to give all those
teeny little spermies a fighting chance.”
REPORTER: Why doesn’ t he just get a vasectomy?
NANNY: Sarah says that would be like cheating God . . .
[As the closing credits roll by, Britney Spears sings the program’ s
theme song, “Oops, I Did It Again.” ]
HOUSE_OVERSIGHT_015173
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