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Section 1 Study Guide

A regular reader who goes by SnowdropExplodes suggested that I add "study guides" to the end of each section of this book in order to pull it together, and I thought it was a good idea. (See why I love my readers?) I'm sure that others could find this insufferably patronizing, however; if you're one of them, feel free not to read the guides! I'm just trying to offer questions for further thought, and give some insight on why I organized this book the way I did. This section was intended to pull together the ideas I see as "basic" or "building blocks" for feminist sex, both in theory and in practice.

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1. Have any of these pieces felt relevant to how you communicate with your partners? Have any pieces felt irrelevant or incomprehensible? Can you see any overarching themes that guide which ones felt relevant, and which ones felt incomprehensible?

1a. If you could give your partners one piece of advice about communicating with you, what would it be?

1b. Are there areas of communication that you feel you need to work on? (For example, Clarisse often thinks that she should work on her non-verbal communication, and has occasionally had trouble being direct with her partners about what she wants.)

1c. What ideas about sex and communication do you think you've absorbed from friends, parents, and your larger cultural environment?

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2. What stereotypes do you see acting on your sexuality?

2a. Have you come up with any mental tactics for thinking around those stereotypes? What are they? (For example, Clarisse sees the "S&M superpowers" concept as a positive way of framing S&M, so it doesn't feel "broken" or "dark.")

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3. Are there any areas of your sexuality where you feel trapped or stalled? Can you think of ways that you want to move forward on those, or do you think it might be a good idea to take some time off from those activities instead?

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4. If you were feeling anxious about a relationship or uncertain about your boundaries, who would you turn to in order to talk about that? Do you have friends (online or offline) or other resources where you could find advice?

4a. Are there unique problems affecting abusive relationships within the communities you frequent? How do sexual stereotypes affect how you and your friends perceive both positive relationships and abusive relationships?

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