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So, when I try to campaign for general sexual freedom and acceptance -- "orientation" or no "orientation" -- I imagine that I'll still end up using the word sometimes. But I'll always try to be conscious of it, and I'll always try to speak in ways that support this statement:

It's fundamentally unimportant whether we can change our sexual desires; the only really important thing is whether or not we practice them consensually.

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This can be found on the Internet at:

http://clarissethorn.com/blog/2012/04/09/classic-repost-bdsm-as-a-sexual-orientation-and-complications-of-the-orientation-model/

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S&M:

[theory] BDSM "versus" Sex

This was originally published in two parts in 2011. I named the first part "Divide and Conquer," and the second part "How Does It Feel?" But as often happens when I split up my long posts, people were already talking about points that I addressed in the second post while commenting on the first post -- before the second post was published. (Unfortunately, my commenters are at least as smart as I am, and they notice when I leave things out.) I've often struggled with length problems as a blogger. If I could write posts that are typical blog length, like 250-500 words, then I'd probably be a lot more successful. But I just can't seem to write short, and since splitting up long posts is a bad idea too, I constantly feel frustrated by blogging... let alone platforms like Twitter! If you have clever thoughts for how I can train myself to be a better short-form writer, email me. Seriously.

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BDSM "versus" Sex

Every once in a while, someone will ask me a question about something BDSM-related that I feel "done with"; I feel like I did all my thinking about those topics, years ago. But it's still useful to get those questions today, because it forces me to try and understand where my head was at, three to seven years ago. It forces me to calibrate my inner processes. I often think of these questions as the "simple" ones, or the "101" questions, because they are so often addressed in typical conversation among BDSMers. Then again, lots of people don't have access to a BDSM community, or aren't interested in their local BDSM community for whatever reason. Therefore, it's useful for me to cover those "simple" questions on my blog anyway.

Plus, just because a question is simple doesn't mean the question is not interesting.

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