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doesn't make sense to most sane people but after all of the time spent with them, I had gotten to understand a few of their quirky ways. Even if I didn't agree with them, they knew I would for their sake of opinion. What did it matter anyways I thought, I had been degraded in every other physical way what's the difference from taking their mental abuse too. Not the exact choice of employers I would've chosen over again if given the opportunity but here I was and doing my very best to excel at their demands.

I was sent home for a little over a week to pack for the long trip and make the rounds visiting my family before I left overseas on my first trip all by myself. It was great to see my family after such a long time away. My older brother and his wife even came down to visit for the well wishing of my departure. Everyone in my family seemed stoked at the prospects my long journey had led me down. Here I was jet setting around the world in my teens and getting paid to study the course of my dreams at a cost that I only knew I would have to pay. It was a wonderful get together with all of them around, a great way to remember them. If I'd only known it would be the last time I would see any of them I would've emphasized to my brothers how much I really loved them both and how much I would miss them in the decade to come! But I didn't know what my future held for me, I had nothing planned out I was just hoping for the right opportunities.

I also had a few good friends to catch up with before I went. Every night was another party and by the end of the week I had drunken enough to drown an Irishman on St. Patty's Day. I was given the lists to all of my friends email address and told to keep in touch. Yeah right I thought, I was going to be too busy having too much fun to be thinking about sitting on a computer emailing people, but I told them I would anyways. Save myself the point of having to explain that in many different ways to a group of already tipsy slurring teenagers. Out of everyone who was really happy for me, T.J wasn't. He hated the idea of me leaving him to have a non-stop party in Thailand without him. He was just starting to seem like he was coming good and I didn't like having to leave him at such a vulnerable state but in my young years I had already realized I needed to do some things for myself and this was one of them. There was still a huge amount of broken trust between us, trust that could probably never be rendered again so I thought I was being decent enough letting him stay at my apartment while I was gone, but he was not to drive my truck, at all. I paid too much money on insurance for that thing and knowing his driving record I didn't want the risk of something happening while I was gone for so long. He didn't agree with me at all, throwing a grown up tantrum all over my apartment. Hitting the walls and doors, shouting the entire complex down, there was nothing I could say or do at this point in

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time so I just put my dog on the lead and took her for a walk to calm down the situation and give me some time to be alone. Mary Jane was the only one I hated leaving behind. When we got back from the long walk she barricaded my suitcase while I was packing the horrendous amount of clothing that I always did. I was promising her I wouldn't be long and told her how much I loved her giving her a big hug. I choked back on the tears that were swelling up in my eyes, it was like she already knew the night before I flew out to New York that this would be my final trip.

There was a commercial flight booked for me in the morning and I needed the rest that night to fully recover from my binge of celebration drinking. T.J crept into bed later that night and tried to redeem his behavior with sweet nothings and dry humping my backside. It did nothing for me sexually. I didn't feel like that for him any longer and the sooner he realized that, the better he'd be off. I told him I wasn't up for it and he picked up a pillow and slammed the door behind him. It didn't matter I told myself, the next day I was off and wouldn't have to deal with him or anyone.

T.J caught a cab with me to MIA, the airport in Miami. He walked with me to the furthest point he was allowed to go by the security gates and as we stood in line together it was almost heartbreaking seeing him cry. I told him I'd try to call him everyday, attempting to give him optimistic ways to look at this time away from each other. In the end he had me crying and I had to give into my remaining feelings I had for him. One last kiss under the x-ray bridge and he vanished out of my sight as I furthered down the terminals long hall.

Chapter 20

It was only a short flight to New York and I just couldn't wait until next week when I'd be jetting of to an exotic destination all by my lonesome self. It was all I could think about talk about and dream about, finally my break. Ghislane did what she did best that week and prepped me for everything I could imagine under the sun. Do's and Don'ts, emergency numbers and western union locations were among some things on the list she gave me. Like I said, she showed her caring side in other ways. There was also the name of the girl I was supposed to be meeting, the room she was in and what dates she would be staying there.

When I got out of Ghislane's office I was instructed to meet Jeffrey in his office. She had to stay back for some paper work that she had to catch up on pronto. Making my way up the red and gold trimmed carpeted

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