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Pulling out my Australian drivers license from my wallet, I was going
to hand it over to them but they were sufficed at a quick glance. There
was no meet and greet, they went straight to the point. One agent picked
up a briefcase off the porch floor and opened it up taking out a stapled
stack of paper. Then that same agent asked me if I had ever known an
affiliate by the name of Mr. Jeffrey Epstein. All of the sudden my
stomach tangled in a familiar knot that I hadn't felt in many years from a
past life that I was trying to forget about. I nodded in affirmation of their
question and said "It was a long time ago and he's no longer an affiliate
of mine, but yes, I did know him once." It was shameful enough to think
about let alone talk about with them for the first time since I had started
my entire life over. His next response left me nothing short of speechless.
The United States Attorney's Office for the district of Florida was giving
me a notification of being an identified victim. Jeffrey was finally caught
for his atrocious acts of perversion on girls who were barely old enough
to even comprehend "the birds and the bees" so to speak.
On June 30th 2008, Jeffrey Epstein pleaded guilty for procurement of
minors to engage in and solicitation of prostitution. More than a dozen
girls had been named as victims of Jeffrey's federal offense's and without
ever stepping a day in court he was granted a plea bargain consenting to
charges that named him a registered pedophile for only two of the minor
girls. Getting away with even serving only twelve of the sentenced
eighteen months behind bars be that in the evening alone and in the
morning he was released during the day. Restricted to the confinement of
his lavish mansion in Palm Beach only to be with his original sex slaves
from over ten years ago, Nadia Marcinkova and Sarah Kellen, and
knowing Jeffrey all too well, they wouldn't be the only ones there while
he was pulling his laughing stint of retribution. Even at nighttime the girls
were still allowed to visit him, accounting to nearly seventy times while
serving his time in incarceration.
No justice had been served for any of us victims. Denied the very
constitutional rights allegedly there to protect and serve us. We weren't
allowed to have a voice in front of a jury and judge or even informed for
that matter. Instead we were handed this notification of being a victim but
told we were all too late to do anything about. To make matters worse
part of that plea bargain was that we had the option to sue him with the
lawyers he provided for us, and conveniently enough I found out later
they were also his lawyer's old friends from the college days.
I felt my knees go weak and the anxiety churning in my stomach was
now making me feel sick. Taking the bundle of paperwork from the agent
who was now handing it to over me, I had to excuse myself before my
legs actually buckled. Closing the door behind me I couldn't even find
the words to tell my husband what was going on. I rushed to the back of
the house and went out to the back yard where I wanted a minute to
compose myself and process the information I had just been told. Robbie
followed behind me but the stillness in my eyes convinced him to give
me that moment to compile my emotions.
A few moments later and I was ready to talk. Collapsing into his arms
with such anguish, he just held me until my sobs subsided and I was able
to tell him what actually happened. Starting with an apology, I began to
tell him how I was so sorry but my troubled past has come back to plague
our simply sweet lives and was just about to turn it all upside down. He
was so understanding from the beginning of all this, telling me that he
will always be behind every choice that I make in mending the sorrows of
my tormenting past and there he has been through all of the thick and
thins.
Deciding to call the lawyers on the victim suit provided for me was a
big decision but one I had to do to seek the unanswered questions from
my battered heart. The two women at the firm that I spoke to treated me
so wonderfully, like long term friends they counseled me not only in the
terms of a lawsuit towards Jeffrey but also in the matters of being
emotionally and sexually abused. I chose to proceed with the lawsuit at
least to make a statement to a man that tried to make a degrading
statement about me so long ago. Now it was my turn, I had the choice to
turn the tables on him hoping he would feel embarrassed and in the
spotlight for everyone's entertainment where he had kept me for so many
years.
Winning my lawsuit against him was not enough to heal old wounds, I
never got the chance to stand up in front of a jury and tell them how
much pain I had endured and still endure throughout the many nightmares
I face when darkness hits and the silence of the sleeping household fills
my head with pictures of reliving my past with him or the others he sent
me too. Or did I even get to hear him confess his guilt and suffer the way
I did locked in confinement for many years? No, instead I got to see a
picture of Jeffrey with his arms around a very youthful looking teenager,
if even that, parading the streets of New York, the very way he had with
me and so many other girls long before.
As if it were a public display intended for not only his many victims to
see but also a spectacle for the public justice system, it was bold show of
insolence laughing in our faces while we all sat by not being able to do
anything to help these young girls from the streets still suffering his
perverted afflictions. Not much longer there was another story on Jeffrey
I saw in the papers of him and Prince Andrew having a stroll together in
Central Park. It instantly sparked my concerns for other girls in the very
same position I was in so long ago and he was obviously up to the same
old tricks, I had to do something now. Not being able to sit by any longer
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