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1.74 MB
Extraction Summary
7
People
1
Organizations
2
Locations
2
Events
2
Relationships
5
Quotes
Document Information
Type:
Manuscript draft / memoir page
File Size:
1.74 MB
Summary
This document appears to be a page (p. 282) from a manuscript or memoir draft, dated April 2, 2012. The author (likely Alan Dershowitz, based on the context of House Oversight documents and the persona of a criminal lawyer) recounts a personal anecdote about meeting filmmaker Woody Allen for lunch during the filming of 'Manhattan.' The text discusses the media-heavy nature of the Allen vs. Farrow custody battle and details a philosophical conversation between the author and Allen about defending Jesus in court and the implications for Christianity.
People (7)
| Name | Role | Context |
|---|---|---|
| Author/Narrator | Author/Criminal Lawyer |
Writes in first person ('I'), likely Alan Dershowitz given the context of House Oversight documents and the professio...
|
| Woody Allen | Filmmaker/Defendant |
Subject of the anecdote; discussed regarding his lawsuit against Mia Farrow and a lunch meeting with the author.
|
| Mia Farrow | Actress/Litigant |
Opposing party in the custody lawsuit mentioned in the text.
|
| Louis Armstrong | Musician |
Mentioned by Woody Allen as someone he would want as a 'birthday present'.
|
| Jimmy Hoffa | Union Leader |
Mentioned by Woody Allen as his second choice for a 'birthday present'.
|
| Jesus | Historical Figure |
Subject of a hypothetical legal defense scenario discussed by the author and Woody Allen.
|
| Lenny Bruce | Comedian |
Referenced by Woody Allen regarding a joke about crucifixion.
|
Organizations (1)
| Name | Type | Context |
|---|---|---|
| House Oversight Committee |
Indicated by the Bates stamp 'HOUSE_OVERSIGHT' at the bottom of the page.
|
Timeline (2 events)
1990s (implied by context)
Late 1970s (Filming of 'Manhattan')
Relationships (2)
Met for lunch; author played an 'unusual role' in Allen's lawsuit.
Described as opposing parties in a custody lawsuit.
Key Quotes (5)
"Every legal maneuver in the case was made with an eye (sometimes two) on the media."Source
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Quote #1
"He was given to me as a birthday present by a group of friends..."Source
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Quote #2
"He then asked me which dead person I would have wanted to represent as a criminal lawyer. I immediately replied 'Jesus.'"Source
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Quote #3
"They probably wouldn’t have liked Jews like us from Brooklyn"Source
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Quote #4
"And without crucifixion, there’s no Christianity, so if you had won they’d be blaming the Jews for destroying Christianity."Source
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Quote #5
Full Extracted Text
Complete text extracted from the document (2,224 characters)
4.2.12
WC: 191694
WC: 191694
Woody Allen vs. Mia Farrow
In my article on the 10 greatest legal blunders of the 20th Century, I included on my list, the decision by Woody Allen’s lawyers to sue Mia Farrow for custody of several of her adopted children as well as the one child they conceived together. I played an unusual role in that lawsuit, in which both sides were focused heavily on the media: Woody was concerned that negative coverage, particularly of allegations involving sexual improprieties with a young girl, might ruin his career; and Mia’s concern that any coverage might hurt her children. Every legal maneuver in the case was made with an eye (sometimes two) on the media.
I first met Woody Allen when he was filming Manhattan. He was given to me as a birthday present by a group of friends, one of whom knew Woody from his earlier film “The Front.” [check dates] He agreed to meet me for lunch. He didn’t know he was my birthday present. When I told him, he immediately began to speculate as to who he would want as a present: “Louis Armstrong,” he said would be his first choice.
“He’s dead,” I reminded him.
“Exactly,” he replied.
“Jimmy Hoffa would be my second choice.”
“He’s missing,” I said.
“Exactly,” he repeated.
He then asked me which dead person I would have wanted to represent as a criminal lawyer. I immediately replied “Jesus.”
“Do you think you could have won?” he asked.
“In front of a Jewish jury, maybe.”
“Those biblical Jews were tough. They didn’t tolerate troublemakers like Jesus. They probably wouldn’t have liked Jews like us from Brooklyn,” Woody mused.
“Yeah, but imagine how different history would be if a Jewish lawyer saved Jesus. They couldn’t accuse us of killing their Lord.”
“But he wouldn’t have been their Lord, if you had won. He wouldn’t have been crucified. And without crucifixion, there’s no Christianity, so if you had won they’d be blaming the Jews for destroying Christianity.”
Woody reminded me of the riff that got Lenny Bruce into so much trouble. Bruce quipped that if the Roman’s electrocuted rather than crucified their enemies, millions of Christians would be walking around wearing tiny electric chairs around their necks.
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HOUSE_OVERSIGHT_017369
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