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this in every possible way. Even though a week’s wages for working a full-time job as a waitress didn’t come close to the money I had made in a couple hours of working for Jeffrey, I was happier than I had been in a long time. I made some friends at my new job and found my duties to be easy and pleasant. I was good at making customers smile and keeping them happy becoming the waitress that made the most tips for the night, which in turn made my co-workers happy since we’d all split the tips at the end of the week. For the first time in a long time I had boys my age hitting onto me, and not that I was ever taken aback by there attempts but it reminded me of how it felt to be around a younger crowd. I missed so much of what I couldn’t get back and the more I tasted it, the more I remembered how to smile. The relationship between T.J and I began to falter in a way that was beyond reconciliation. Fights became physical and I saw sides to him that only pushed me away more. He refused to look for work to help pay bills and he became utterly frustrated not having his usual cocktail of assorted drugs to keep him from feeling anything at all. He didn’t like the fact I was growing inside and thinking beyond his elusive world. I had gone through too much to accept another form of abuse and degradation. Making that point very clear to him by kicking him out of my apartment back to live with his parents, I felt liberated like never before. I kept up with my rent and cleaned my act up. Enrolling in a yoga course and keeping my focus on staying fit and healthy became my only source of enjoyment. I was free and living for myself.
While out doing the grocery shopping one evening I couldn’t help but stop at the local pet store and fell in love with a furry pooch. She was a Japanese Chow-Chow and a bundle of fur that more resembled a baby brown bear than a dog. I took her home with me and instantly she became my best friend. We went for several walks a day and she bore the brunt of many tear filled conversations, she was my loyal companion who understood more than anyone had before, all I really need was someone to listen and funny enough it was her that filled that hole.
Nearly three months had gone by and not a word from Jeffrey or Ghislaine. With T.J out of the picture now too all I had to concentrate on was work, my parents and brothers, and of course my dog, Mary-Jane. I was going to family night dinners and bon fires again. My older brother was getting married to an amazing woman in a few weeks and I got to be apart of their beautiful ceremony. Small details of life’s journey that I already missed so much of and now being able to smile at the simple things day in day out really seemed to put the real value of life into perspective for me. Everything seemed to be working out for itself and I was really happy, until he came back, T.J thought he’d come over my place one evening while I was sitting at home just watching TV.

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Obviously mentally distorted from whatever choice of drugs he was smoking that night. He screamed down my apartment complex, going mad and scaring my neighbors I felt like I had no choice but to let him inside. I tried talking to him as a good friend would, just wanting him to see what he was doing to himself and what he had become. Part of me still loved him and took pity on watching him spiral downwards. Taking him back into my life was not a decision I made whole-heartedly, but was something I did out of guilt and what I thought was loyalty. He moved his clothes back to my place, which was all he ever owned anyways and we tried to pick up the broken pieces. T.J being still badly addicted to many drugs, I had to be very careful where I kept my jewelry and expensive items. I decided to rent out a space at a local spot and store my cherished items away, just taking the necessary precautions, I thought.
Still not working I knew how he was scraping by money and I didn’t agree with it, T.J was a known thief and had been caught several times attempting to steal things, even as stupid as DVD’s and PS2 or Xbox games from a local Blockbuster. He even stole from his parents, his sister and his brother and would probably steal a piece of candy from a five year old kid if he knew that it would get him his next fix. He hated the change in myself, realizing I couldn’t be brought back down by his ways but knowing I still stuck by his side and defended him from anything that would hurt him wanting to believe that he still wanted show the bits of human nature left in his empty heart.
Unable to stand by and see me do well for myself he contemplated a way to try and bring me down. After a busy shift one night, he retaliated with another show of control. I had just finished cleaning up my area and setting out the tables to be ready for the next day when I went to the bar to hang up my apron and put my nights tips in the tip bowl on the counter by the beer tap. On one of his drug induced rampages he stormed into the restaurant where I was working and started to pick a fight with me. I knew he was off his face when he started accusing me of sleeping with my manager on shift that evening. Having no bias or ground to stand on in his attempt to make me look bad in front of everyone, I just laughed him off as a drunk idiot who needed to go home and sleep off the night’s repercussions, although I was fuming inside that he embarrassed me but I still made excuses for him and told my boss I had to leave early to bring him home.
The bar was deserted as T.J waited alone for me slumped in a barstool and looking worse for wear. I had to go to the back of the restaurant and do some explaining to the manager on duty, I couldn’t afford to lose my job over this incident. Surprisingly he was sympathetic towards my dilemma and even told me I could do a lot better than that schmuck, patting my back and telling me to have a couple days off. I punched out

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