HOUSE_OVERSIGHT_018527.jpg
2.5 MB
Extraction Summary
4
People
1
Organizations
1
Locations
2
Events
2
Relationships
6
Quotes
Document Information
Type:
Reflective narrative / blog post / personal diary entry (part of house oversight evidence)
File Size:
2.5 MB
Summary
This document appears to be a personal narrative, blog post, or diary entry stamped as evidence by the House Oversight Committee. The author reflects on the complexities of their polyamorous lifestyle, detailing a breakup with a long-term partner ('The Artist') who desires a traditional, stable life, while simultaneously navigating an uncertain dynamic with a newer partner ('Mr. ThereItIs') who is anxious about their BDSM activities. The text explores themes of settling down versus living an unconventional life.
People (4)
| Name | Role | Context |
|---|---|---|
| Narrator | Author/Subject |
Person reflecting on polyamorous/BDSM relationships and a breakup.
|
| Mr. ThereItIs | Romantic Interest |
A newer partner with whom the narrator has chemistry but who is anxious about the BDSM aspect of their relationship.
|
| The Artist | Partner/Ex-Partner |
Long-term partner breaking up with the narrator because he wants stability and to settle down.
|
| Alex | Fictional Character |
Character from 'A Clockwork Orange' used as a metaphor for 'The Artist's' desire to settle down.
|
Organizations (1)
| Name | Type | Context |
|---|---|---|
| House Oversight Committee |
Implied by the Bates stamp/footer 'HOUSE_OVERSIGHT_018527'.
|
Timeline (2 events)
Saturday morning
Saturday morning
Breakup conversation where 'The Artist' decides the relationship won't work due to his desire for stability.
Kitchen
Locations (1)
| Location | Context |
|---|---|
|
Location where the narrator and 'The Artist' had their breakup conversation.
|
Relationships (2)
Engaged in BDSM; narrator describes him as a 'vanilla-but-questioning' guy pulling back.
Spent the night together; breaking up because he wants stability and she wants to 'subvert and hack and destroy'.
Key Quotes (6)
"In the beginning steps of this game, you can never let them smell your fear."Source
HOUSE_OVERSIGHT_018527.jpg
Quote #1
"Haven't I learned my lesson about vanilla-but-questioning guys yet?"Source
HOUSE_OVERSIGHT_018527.jpg
Quote #2
"You're still focused on having an interesting life. I'm not prioritizing that anymore."Source
HOUSE_OVERSIGHT_018527.jpg
Quote #3
"I would have been a much better match for you five years ago."Source
HOUSE_OVERSIGHT_018527.jpg
Quote #4
"Well-designed apartment, respected job, kids, the lot."Source
HOUSE_OVERSIGHT_018527.jpg
Quote #5
"And I, with all my desire to push and stretch myself, with all the boundaries I'm still seeking to subvert and hack and destroy -- I don't work with the desire to settle down."Source
HOUSE_OVERSIGHT_018527.jpg
Quote #6
Full Extracted Text
Complete text extracted from the document (3,321 characters)
known each other for so long, it was easier to read the situation, easier to allow investment. Much harder with Mr. ThereItIs, who came out of nowhere, who I barely knew but had awesome chemistry with. In the beginning steps of this game, you can never let them smell your fear.
Saturday morning. I'd spent the night with The Artist, was checking my email while he made breakfast. (He actually likes cooking, which I have trouble comprehending.) I wanted to plan my week, and texted Mr. ThereItIs to ask when we'd see each other. My breath hitched as he texted back: he didn't think it'd be a good idea to spend the night together again, but he wanted to have drinks and catch up. I closed my eyes, made myself breathe. Remembered how many times he'd pulled back, how much anxiety he'd expressed about the BDSM we engaged in. I'd tried to make it clear that he was doing awesomely, but dollars to donuts he was still freaking out about it. I was first-time heavy BDSM partner. Why do I keep doing this to myself? Haven't I learned my lesson about vanilla-but-questioning guys yet?
After giving myself a moment to calm down, I texted back that I was open to getting drinks, but wanted to understand his motives better before doing so. "Feel free to email or text," I wrote, "I can't talk right now," then put down my phone and walked into an intense conversation in the kitchen. There'd been some uncertainty over my last month or so with The Artist, due to surprisingly divergent relationship priorities. We're decently matched in terms of being BDSM-identified, and we have so much else in common, but there were some things I wanted to do that particularly freaked him out, plus he wasn't feeling 100% comfortable with polyamory. Most of all, I've been surprised by his emphasis on settling down.
That Saturday, it ended with him deciding it wouldn't work. "You and I are in such different places right now," he said gently. "You're still focused on having an interesting life. I'm not prioritizing that anymore. I would have been a much better match for you five years ago."
You're one of the most interesting people I've ever met, I wanted to say, how can you decide this? The night before, we'd had a conversation in which he'd described how incredibly stable he wants his life to be. Well-designed apartment, respected job, kids, the lot. How much he wants to get away from past days, when he thrived among bizarre subcultures, prioritized art above everything. He doesn't even want to travel! I listened, heart sinking. Trying to understand. "Isn't there anything you can't walk away from?" I asked.
"S&M," he said promptly. "But that bothers me, because I don't know how I can make it fit."
Stability; making things fit. Saturday at breakfast, The Artist mentioned that a friend had compared him to Alex, the main character in A Clockwork Orange: in the famous "lost" 21st chapter, Alex decides that it's time to abandon ultraviolence and settle down. Obviously, The Artist was never even close to being the psychopath that Alex is, but it's still an instructive parallel. And I, with all my desire to push and stretch myself, with all the boundaries I'm still seeking to subvert and hack and destroy -- I don't work with the desire to settle down. I may never work with that desire.
HOUSE_OVERSIGHT_018527
Discussion 0
No comments yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this epstein document