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Case 1:20-cr-00330-PAE Document 672 Filed 06/24/22 Page 20 of 68
BSF

When you did that, Ghislaine, you changed the course of our lives forever. You joked that you were like a new mother to us. As a woman, I think you understood the damage you were causing—the price you were making us victims pay. You could have put an end to [REDACTED], the molestations, the sickening manipulations that you arranged, witnessed and even took part in. You could’ve called the authorities and reported that you were a part of something awful.

I was young and naïve when we met, Ghislaine, but you knew that. In fact, you were counting on it. My life as a young person was just beginning. You robbed me of that by exploiting my hopes and ambitions.

Ghislaine, the pain you have caused me is almost indescribable. Because of your choices and the world you brought me into, I don’t sleep. Nightmares wake me at all hours. In those dreams, I relive the awful things you and others did to me and the things you forced me to do. Those memories will never go away. I have trouble meeting new people without questioning if somehow they are going to hurt me, too. I don’t allow my children to stay over at friends’ houses, or to walk down the street alone. I don’t trust anyone to be near them without me or my husband close by. I am hyper-vigilant, because I know that evil exists. You taught me that.

There is not a day that goes by that I don’t ask, “Why?” Why, Ghislaine, did you enjoy hurting us so much? I worry every single day and night that you will get away with it and evade being punished. I will worry about that until you are brought to justice. And what should that justice look like? Ghislaine, you deserve to spend the rest of your life in a jail cell. You deserve to be trapped in a cage forever, just like you trapped your victims.

But Ghislaine, I want you to know that while you tried to break me, you didn’t succeed. Despite you, I have grown into a woman who tries to do good in the world—a woman who, on her best days, feels like she is making a difference. My promise to you is as follows: As long as you and perpetrators like you continue to prey upon the vulnerable, I will not stop standing up and speaking out. Together, with so many others you abused, we will do all we can to keep predators from stealing the innocence of children. I will never give up. I will never go away. If you ever get out of prison, I will be here, watching you, making sure you never hurt anyone else again.

Thank you, your honor.

Respectfully,
[Signature]
Sigrid S. McCawley

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